Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Are You SERIOUS?????

Working out in South Florida is an interesting experience. I have trained at quite a few commercial gyms and not a day goes by that I don't ask myself "Are you serious?" I don't know if we have more idiots that populate gyms and fitness centers here, rather then other areas, but I'm willing to bet that we are pretty close to the top. When I've lifted during traveling it's usually at a strength and conditioning conference so most of the attendees pretty much have their head on straight and have a clue on weight training etiquette. The majority of my lifting does take place in South Florida at local/commercial gyms and some of the stuff I see makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a dull lead pencil! Here's a short list of the absurdity:

1- Training with sunglasses on. I mean, come on, what the hell are these people thinking. I've seen dudes that look like they are auditioning for the next Jersey Shore performing endless sets of tricep kickbacks while wearing their designer sunglasses. I know it's sunny in Fort Lauderdale, but dude, you are inside! What makes it worse is when these idiots are wearing bandannas or stocking caps and skin tight tank tops.

2- Throwing weights down so hard it sounds like an earthquake. Okay, I get it "You're Strong". Honestly to throw your 80 pound dumbbells down (not that heavy dude, by the way) and stand up, give a double fist pump and then look around to make sure everybody see's you??? Ugggg- I just want to vomit just thinking about it! Want to impress people, do a full depth front squat with 315, or deadlift 5 plates for reps, your partner assisted shoulder press doesn't cut it! What I find crazy is when these idiots throw their weights down it's always during an upper body movement - because they don't train their legs and if they do, they fall into #3.

3- Loading up the leg press with 10 plates on each side and grunting like you are giving birth. First of all, the leg press- do a squat you sissy! What makes it worse is when these idiots are wearing knee wraps and doing 1/4 reps. In all honesty, my fiance can squat more than these fools. You will never see a leg press competition, Why? Because it's not an adequate indicator of real strength.

4-Wearing all your "gear" while training. I love to see those fools with their knee wraps, belt, gloves, elbow sleeves, and wrist wraps on performing and intense set of cable curls. Unless you are powerlifter or training near maximum effort on a squat or deadlift, you can leave the belt at home. For you those fools that think they need a belt because they "have a bad back"- read a book by Stuart McGill, it will blow your mind.

5- Here is one for the ladies- sports bras, tube tops, and spandex- if you have a muffin top, don't even think about it! I don't think this topic need any elaboration.

Hope you enjoyed the list. Next time you're in the gym I guarantee you'll see one of these morons, just remember they are there for your amusement- enjoy a good laugh while your getting in better shape.


Jessica said...

Ahaha! I LOVE it! Totally true!

Anonymous said...

Another thing I cant STAND is guys working out with a toothpick in their mouth. We get it, you a hard ass...